Listen!
Stay calm and listen to what your partner
has to say before you fly off on a tangent and say things that you’ll probably
regret later. By listening to the words (even though you might not agree),
you’ll be sending the message that you really want to understand. Also, notice
his expressions and body language. They’ll offer many clues to what he’s really
feeling.
Be
ready to compromise.
You and your partner are probably not going
to agree on everything you want to happen. At this point, try to find a
compromise that you can both live with – without letting go of your own morals
or beliefs.
Seek
counseling.
A counselor may be the best route to
successfully solving problems that pose a risk to your relationship. Even if
your partner refuses to participate, you can help yourself by having an
objective person to talk to. Never ask friends or relatives to take sides and
help you solve the problems. You may resent them if they agree with your
partner’s point of view.
It’s important that you go slowly when
attempting to repair your relationship. If you completely ignore the problems
you know are there and leap back into the liaison, the same issues will arise
again and again, threatening your happiness and your future together.
Know Thyself!
One of the keys to forming and keeping a
great relationship is to work on yourself first.
A breakup might be the wakeup call you need
to change some things about yourself – perhaps you neglected the relationship,
taking it for granted.
Or maybe you ignored warning signs that the
relationship was becoming tattered at the edges and needed attention and
repair. No matter what the cause of the separation, it makes sense that you
take time to look closely at yourself before you can determine how to mend the
relationship.
Ask yourself if the same problems
threatened or ended past relationships, if there have been others. You may be
repeating the same self-destructive patterns that helped to destroy other
associations – whether love, work, family or friends. It’s important that you
dissect what makes you tick with others before the present relationship can be
rescued.
Keep a journal through this time of
healing. Return to it from time to time and try to pinpoint certain patterns in
your emotions and actions that keep recurring and causing possible harm to the
relationship. It’s an exciting and rewarding journey when you begin to explore
your deepest and most passionate self. Oprah Winfrey calls it “finding your
authentic self.”
Once you discover your “authentic self,” a
unique power will be yours. It’s the power of being able to take complete
control of your life, including those emotions that sabotage relationships –
jealousy, anger, envy and other negative feelings. You’re able to focus on
positive events and people in your life and to overcome destructive elements
that threaten to cause depression, frustration and anger.
Your authentic self will help you identify
and take control of emotions you experience from day to day. Ask yourself where
these negative emotions are coming from. It could be a past experience as far
back as your early childhood – or maybe a recent rejection from someone you
loved and respected. Don’t let a past experience take over your present life
and make you feel less than adequate. Learn how to control it and see it for
the lie that it is.
Final Post on Making Up 101 on 11th May...Thank you:)
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