A simple explanation of "Marketing."

1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him
and say, "I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Direct Marketing.

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One
of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in
bed,"
That's Advertising.

3.  You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in
bed,"
That's Telemarketing.


4.  You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten
your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and
reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his
arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Public Relations.


5. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed,"
That's Brand Recognition.


6. You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home
with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.

8.  You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the
roof of one situated toward the centre and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm
fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail!

"Harsh Words"

H A R S H W O R D S

I ran into a stranger as he passed by.
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.

But at home a different story is told, how we treat our loved ones,
young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal, my son stood beside me very
still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said, "While dealing with a
stranger, common courtesy you use, but the children you love, you
seem to abuse. Go look on the kitchen floor, you'll find some flowers
there by the door."
" Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself; pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, and you never saw
the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
and now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em out by the tree."
"I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today.
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh Mom, that's okay, I love you anyway.
I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially
the blue.

Are you aware that if we died tommorrow, the company that we are
working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the
family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives?
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our
own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?

cheers
Bobby Wan

Disastrous Monkey Plan

Once in America a plane got crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.
Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and replied in sign language. The Officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"

Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"

Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Looking for my people"

Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travelers

Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"

Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Eating & throwing"

Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"

Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling"

Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: " Nothing"

Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"

Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Kissing the pilots"

Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Responding"

Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"

1 Minute for God!

"1 MINUTE FOR GOD"!!!
During the next 60 seconds, stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it is only 1 minute) All you have to do is the following:

You simply say "The Lords Prayer" :

Our Father, who are in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from all evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever. Amen.

Next, you send this message to everyone you know. In a while, more people will have prayed for you and you would have obtained a lot of people praying for others. Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to him.

If you are not ashamed to do this, follow the instructions. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before My Father" If you are not ashamed, send this message...only if you believe. "Yes, I love my God. He is my fountain of Life and My Savior. He Keeps me going day and night. Without Him, I am no one. But with Him, I can do everything. Christ is my strength."

This is a simple test. If you love God and you are not ashamed of all the great things that he has done for you, send this to everyone you know,and the person that sent it to you.

God Bless you.
Bobby Wan