Never assume that
you’re stuck with the way things are.
Life changes, and so can you.
“I don’t know what to do.” “I’m in a
rut.” “I feel stuck.” These are words Angel and I hear frequently
from coaching clients and blog subscribers alike. We all struggle with
this kind of mindset sometimes, and if you’re struggling right now, it’s time
to push through. There’s plenty you can do.
The truth is, you have the power to move
forward no matter what obstacles block your path. You have the power to
live up to your highest vision of how your life can be. You have the
power to follow through and make significant progress on your biggest
goals. You have all this power because you have the CHOICE. In each
moment you can choose what you think, what you do, and who you want to be.
If you’re being pulled in every direction by
forces beyond your control, take time to realign yourself with what you value
most in life.
You don’t have to continue doing things the
way you’ve always done them. You don’t have to be held a prisoner by your
old, familiar habits and assumptions.
Today is a new day, filled with new
possibilities, so remember…
1.
Feeling
stuck is a FEELING, not a fact. – When we feel stuck, typically our first instinct is to
look outside of ourselves for someone or something to blame. In reality,
we ought to be looking at how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and how we
plan to respond. Your life is your responsibility. While you can’t
always change what’s outside of you, you can certainly change your perception
of it. And the funny thing is, when you change the way you look at
things, the things themselves change.
2.
Yesterday’s
bad news is not worth reliving. – You can’t have a better today if you’re still thinking
and worrying about yesterday. Whatever could have been or should have
been, doesn’t matter. Even though you may want to move forward in your
life, you have one foot on the brakes when you’re thinking about the
past. In order to free yourself, you must learn how to let go of whatever
old news is keeping you stuck. Release your regrets. Discard
yesterday’s frustrations. Refuse to entertain old pain. The energy
it takes to hang onto these things is holding you back from a new
beginning. What is it you want to let go of today? Do it!
3.
Feeling
stuck is a sign that it’s time to make a change. – It could be a change of heart, a
change in your perspective, or a change in your habits. But the point in
any case is that the way you are doing things is no longer working.
Imagine yourself as a river, flowing into a great ocean. Oftentimes a
river grows narrower and appears on the surface to lack movement just before it
breaks through to the larger body of water. The same thing happens to us
as we prepare for a breakthrough in life. Our flow must contract before
it can expand. And the contraction is equally important to the
expansion.
4.
What
you need to do won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end. – If you’ve been asking the same
questions for a long time, yet you’re still stuck, it’s probably not that you
haven’t been given the answers, but that you don’t like the answers you were
given. Remember, it takes a great deal of courage to admit that something
needs to change, and a lot more courage still, to accept the responsibility for
making the change happen. Growth and change may be painful sometimes, but
nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.
5.
An
excuse is standing somewhere between you and the next step you need to take. – If you really want to do something,
you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. This may be
tough to accept, but it’s the truth. Stop making excuses for why you
can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons why you must make it
happen. The only person who can truly hold you back is you. So no
more excuses – it’s time to change. It’s time to choose what’s best for YOU. Oftentimes when we feel stuck, we are
waiting for something magical to happen. We wonder when the winds will
change in our favor. We do this instead of embracing the present and
admitting the change we need to make. What is keeping you from stepping
forward? If not fear of failure, then what? Insecurity?
Laziness? What is your excuse? We all have one. And when we
focus on our excuses more than our steps forward, we walk in a circle and fall
into the familiar pit we call “Stuck.”
6.
Other
people’s opinions can only stop you if you let them. – If you find yourself constantly trying
to prove your worth to someone else, you’ve already forgotten your value.
Don’t do this to yourself. Care too much about what other people think
and you will always be their prisoner. Your freedom lies not in the
physical space around you, but in your mind. As long as you cling to
other people’s definitions of your truth, your beauty, and your happiness, you
will always be chained. Thoughts that begin with, “I have to…” or “I
really should…” reveal where we feel most obligated to direct our energy.
Redefine things for yourself. Write your own definitions. Finish
your own sentences. Find your own way. And most importantly, listen
to your intuition. It already knows what you truly need. (Angel
and I discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People
Do Differently.)
7.
Authenticity
is liberating. – By allowing
yourself to be yourself, you allow others to be themselves around you
too. This creates an honest, liberating environment in which to
live. In a society where people love to point fingers and poke fun, you
can only fight social judgment with naked honesty. When you speak up
about your challenges and open yourself up to receiving care and support, you
allow others to do the same. The truth is, we’re all in this together,
undergoing the same learning process and internal struggles. We’re all
equally perfect in our imperfections. There’s no reason to hide behind
lies.
8.
Real
growth happens from the inside out. – If the conditions are right, it’s easy to grow
horizontally by acquiring more money, newer cars, bigger homes, etc.
Vertical growth, on the other hand, is when you stay in the same place with the
same things, but grow deeper and deeper into yourself. It’s when you can
say, “Five years ago I would lose my temper in a few seconds, but now it takes
all week.” This kind of growth is more rare, but it’s the only true
growth there is. Sadly, many of us feel stuck, and we age much faster
than we grow, because we focus exclusively on horizontal achievements. We
spend so much of our lives going through the external motions of what society
tells us ‘maturity’ is – getting married, buying houses, working our way up the
corporate ladder, etc. – that we fail to concentrate on our own inner growth and goals. We never allocate enough time just for
us.
9.
Life
is a journey, not a destination. – Detach from the results of your efforts. A lot of
internal change comes about from letting go of ingrained social fears,
superstitions, and doubts about what is “normal.” By letting go of what
“should” happen or what “could” happen, you free up your life to various little
surprises and joys. You may not lead the exact life you want, but you
will lead a meaningful, miraculous existence, guaranteed. Life is
sometimes difficult, but it’s not a chore. Make it an adventure.
Make it fun. Make the choice to feel good about yourself, about your
world, about your possibilities and the step you’re taking right now.
10.
You’re
way stronger and a lot less stuck than you think. – Take heart, and remember that the
biggest breakthroughs often come after a long period of being stuck.
Which is why feeling stuck for a while is necessary. Embrace this.
When things seem to be at their worst is the ideal time for you to be at your
best. If you can’t take a big step forward, take a little one.
Tip-toe if you must. Just keep reminding yourself that you are strong
enough to take the next tiniest step, and that this step is the only step that
matters right now.
Your turn…
What would you add to the list?
What do you try to keep in mind to motivate
yourself when you’re feeling stuck?
