7 Secrets To Saving Your Marriage

Even If You're the Only One Who Wants It!

W

hen I was a child, I had a vivid image of my mom and dad as being a single parental unit.  I saw them as a united "parental mind", if you will.  I never thought of them as having lives apart from each other before they were married.  They were "always married" as far as my seven-year old mind could conceive.

That being the case, they naturally (or so I thought) viewed everything the same way - from what to eat for supper to how to discipline my brothers and I.

So when on one Sunday Dad didn't go to church with us, and Mom drove a slightly different route than he did to get there, I was concerned.  Very concerned.  Just what was going on here?  Could it be that this single parental unit really consisted of two unique individuals working together to create one household?

As I grew older, I observed my parents' differences on several other matters.  This always fascinated me.  My young mind couldn't grasp that they were, indeed, two individual personalities working toward one common goal: the maintenance of our family.

The Core of a Marriage

Here at a young age, I recognized and identified the fundamental underlying purpose of a marriage: establishment and cultivation of a household. (I was a cleverly insightful child, now wasn't I?).

When one of the spouses in the relationship isn't working toward this common goal, discord and dissatisfaction can't be far behind.

Unfortunately for far too many couples, one or both partners are focused more on their career, their own needs, or any number of issues other than family and the household.

Now, pursuing a career or individual needs isn't necessarily a bad thing.  In fact, it is absolutely necessary to keep a marriage healthy. 

A spouse who is career oriented, for example, is probably contributing substantially to the financial stability and long-term good of his or her family.  It's when the focus of the career is so intense and overriding that the spouse ignores the needs of the rest of the family members, that problems surface.

Talk About "MIA!"

Consider the case of a married couple John Guttmann, a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and a marriage expert, met through his research.  The husband was a doctor who founded his own small pediatric hospital.

He poured his heart and soul into this endeavor, to the exclusion of all else.  He spent a minimum of 20 nights a month staying all night at the hospital. (That just about equates to every weekday of the month!). 

But that's not all, the man became disconnected from his family.  So much so, that he couldn't tell researchers where the back door of his house was.  And even worse, he didn't even know the name of the family dog.

Granted this is an extreme example of a spouse "missing in action," but it is indicative of a growing trend in the United States.  More marriages than ever before are between husbands and wives who both work outside of the home.  This makes creating a successful marriage more difficult than in the past -- but not impossible.

"Easy Come, Easy Go"

Increasing Divorce Rates

It's not surprising then that the nationwide divorce rate is steadily climbing.  Current odds, sadly, are stacked against a marriage's longevity.  The chance that a first marriage ends in divorce before it reaches its 40^th anniversary is 67 percent. 

You've no doubt heard of the "Seven-year itch" in marriages?  It's more than just an urban legend.  Half of all first marriages end in divorce by the time they hit the seven-year anniversary.

The truly sad aspect of this is that nothing is apparently learned from the first marriage to the second.  You may expect the divorce rates for second marriages to fall.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Instead the rate of divorce for second marriages is actually 10 percent higher than for first time marriages.

Of course, the stress of two income households and the ease with which couples seem to "grow apart" are only two reasons for the climb in statistics.

Society has knocked down many barriers to divorce in recent decades.  It's no longer considered the stigma it once was. Today, "no-fault" divorces can be obtained in nearly all parts of the country.  This means that only one of the partners needs to desire the divorce for it to occur.

Of course, this is an important advance -- and quite necessary -- for any individual who is caught in an abusive marriage.

Marriage:

The Vanishing Institution

But it also means that many individuals find it far too easy to just walk away from a relationship that may have potential for saving.

But that's not the only harbinger of change on the American landscape regarding relationships. It seems more people than ever before are sidestepping the need for a divorce. How? By avoiding the Number One cause of divorce in the first place: marriage!

Perhaps this sounds silly, but it's very true.  Years ago, 95 percent of Americans got married.  Predictions are that only 85 percent of us will enter into a marriage these days.

  

Choosing Marriage

Over Divorce

Perhaps you're in the midst of a less than happy, fulfilling relationship right now.  You certainly can choose divorce. After all, it's the easiest choice in many ways.  But you'd rather stay married (yes, to the person with whom you’re currently married to, in fact) rather than suffer the ultimate heartbreak of divorce.

This book will help you do exactly that.  It offers you seven of the most effective secrets that not merely avoid divorce, but create a loving lasting relationship in the process.

Hopefully by the time you've implemented some or all of the seven secrets, you won't be signing those divorce papers, you'll be renewing your vows in a recommitment wedding ceremony!

Find out more at  Save Your Marriage Now!